


Of Alderaan

by IsleofInk



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant, Canon-ish, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Getting to Know Each Other, Grief, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Missing Scene, No Beta, let leia grieve, missing conversations, young luke sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24245119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsleofInk/pseuds/IsleofInk
Summary: “Alderaan. I am Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan,” she replied quietly. She wondered if it was the last time she would say that.Han finds out that the woman next to him in the cockpit of his ship just had her planet destroyed.
Relationships: Leia Organa & Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has been bumping around in my head for a few days so I decided to finally write it down. Basically, in ANH no one actually tells Han (and possibly Luke) that Leia is from Alderaan. They just know she's a princess. So this is Han finding out that the woman with him in the cockpit of his ship just had her planet destroyed. So it's Han being Han and Leia being Leia. This will be in 2 parts, and I hope to post the second part soon!

Leia Organa allowed herself another smile as she sat back down in the pilot’s seat of the Millennium Falcon. Chewbacca, the first mate of this ship, had given her a victorious hug following the explosion of the final TIE Fighter. Wookies apparently did give very excellent hugs. She leaned back in her seat in relief and squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to keep breathing. No one was immediately trying to kill her, and this counted for something. But she knew the battle was far from over. Vader and Tarkin had to be tracking her or the vessel she was on if they let her go with such little resistance. A standard Star Destroyer housed over 70 TIEs and yet they had been pursued by only a handful. She was too exhausted to calculate how many of the craft that battle station must be armed with. 

The battle station. _The Death Star._ Get it together, she recited to herself. There’s still work to be done. 

She opened her eyes as she sensed movement next to her. Chewbacca had stood up and moved to exit the cockpit just as Han Solo swaggered in (something he did on a normal day, and not just when he had escaped from the Empire). He settled into the co-pilot’s seat and pulled his gloves off, turning with a smirk to the woman sitting next to him. 

“Not a bad bit of rescuing, huh? You know sometimes I amaze even myself,” he quipped. 

Leia turned and regarded the man next to her. The smug look on his face perfectly complemented his slightly mussed hair and upturned collar. She envied his carefree attitude She, on the other hand, could feel herself starting to fade; could feel the terror and trauma of the last few days start to weigh on her. But now was not the time to fall apart so she responded with an exasperated look on her face, “that doesn’t sound too hard.” 

Han scoffed so she elaborated. “They let us go. It’s the only explanation for the ease of our escape.”

Han’s tone was incredulous. “Easy? You call that easy?”

For someone to be as worldly as this pilot seemed, he also seemed remarkably naive when it came to his understanding of how ruthless and well equipped the Empire was.

“They’re tracking us!” she challenged, a pang of fear as she said it. 

“Not this ship, sister.”

Apparently his smugness also featured a healthy dose of hubris. 

Leia sighed and turned away. “At least the information in Artoo is still intact.” Small victories. 

“What’s so important? What’s he carrying?”

She turned back to him. “The technical readouts of that battle station. I only hope that when the data’s analyzed a weakness can be found. It’s not over yet.” She added this last part more as a reminder for herself than for him. 

But apparently Han took that as a request of recruitment from her. “It is for me, sister. Look, I ain’t in this for your revolution and I’m not in it for you, princess. I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.”

Leia bristled at this. After everything she had just lost? And he was lecturing her on a payment she hadn’t even agreed to? 

“You needn’t worry about your reward. If money is all that you love, then that’s what you’ll receive,” she spat. 

“Well, your monarchy better be good for the money, else I’m staging a coup.”

Leia froze at his words and felt her breath catch. Heat began rushing to her face as her heart rate spiked. _Does he not...realize…_ she wondered. But no, if Ben Kenobi hadn’t said who she was when he was on board he probably doesn’t know. She worked to allow herself to breathe again, not wanting Han to realize the effect his words had made on her.

She didn’t need sympathy. Especially not from him. 

“What?” he snapped. “Having trouble with the royal taxes back home? What are you princess of, anyways?” Inwardly, Han groaned, if she came from one of these new faux monarchies that liked to present themselves as royalty to establish favor with local crime syndicates, he might not actually get the promised payday. But he didn’t get that impression from her. She seemed...stately, regal. Real. 

He glanced at Leia, realizing that she actually hadn’t answered him and regarded the way her hands had begun to grip the dashboard, her fingers blanching. It didn’t seem like she was breathing. Odd. 

His forehead creased. “Well?” he demanded, more harshly than he had meant to. 

Leia inhaled a short breath. She felt anger welling up inside her. She shouldn’t have to tell him. Shouldn’t have to manage his inevitable reaction. But she was too emotional to come up with a convincing lie. So she reached down inside of her to her last vestiges of calm and answered him.

“Alderaan. I am Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan,” she replied quietly. She wondered if it was the last time she would say that. 

Han balked. He slowly turned his chair completely towards her and regarded her profile. She was staring stubbornly out into space, breathing slowly, refusing to look at him. He swallowed as he felt a pang of guilt. But he hadn’t known. He was astonished more than anything. She did not strike him as someone whose planet had just been destroyed. From the second he had met her she had been...well, lively. And courageous, spirited, and...caring. Han found himself feeling a tinge of annoyance at Luke. Hadn’t he walked in on Leia comforting Luke for the loss of that old wizard? 

He might have to have a talk with the kid. Or at least dissuade him from bothering the princess more. 

Han pushed his hand through his hair before moving it to rest on her shoulder. 

“Don’t,” she gasped out before he could touch her. Her eyes were shut now and she was breathing deeply, clearly trying to keep herself from crying. 

And how old was she? She couldn’t be more than 20. And she had just lost her planet? But was still moving, still fighting, still planning for a future. Han suddenly felt very tired. And very much at a loss for what to do. He might not have any immediate plans to return to his home world, but at least it was waiting there for him if he deigned to. 

He turned his chair back to face the wide expanse of space. 

“...do you want to talk about it?” he ventured, looking at her out the side of his eye. 

Leia’s eyes opened as she stiffened and set her jaw. 

“It might help.” 

She turned to him slightly and glared. Han sighed. He wasn’t wrong about her being spirited. 

“How...when did you find out?” he probed. 

Leia squared her shoulders and turned to look him dead in the eye. 

“They made me watch.” 

Han felt his stomach turn. He was aware the Empire was tyrannical. But this? This was unadulterated evil. Forcing a person to witness the destruction of their home world? Not to mention the actual genocide and destruction of the home world itself. This was not the type of conversation he was suited for. This was not the type of emotional upheaval he wanted to deal with. Fighting, reacting, moving on to the next problem. That’s what he did. 

And this was exactly what Leia had been trying to do until he had started spouting off about his reward money. Han felt a stab of self-loathing. 

“Look, Leia…”

He was cut off by Luke suddenly entering the cockpit. Leia seized this moment to angrily stand up. 

“Your friend is quite a mercenary,” she seethed at Luke. “I wonder if he really cares about anything, or anybody.”

“I care!” Luke responded defensively. And with no doubt as a way to garner favor with the princess. Han was now fully irritated with the farmboy. 

Luke moved into the seat, chuckling. “So, what do you think of her?”

Han looked stoically out the viewport. _Forget all of this. This is it, this is your shot to get the target off of your head. She doesn’t need, or more importantly want, any help from you_.

Han glared. “I’m trying not to, kid.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took me foreverrrrrrr to finish. I just couldn't vibe with it, ya know? But I'm pretty happy with how it turned out! I might turn this into a series and write about a few more missing ANH moments (Leia just needs some healthy space to process her emotions), but I'm bad at committing to writing so I won't promise anything! I hope you enjoy :)

Leia stormed out of the cockpit and moved quickly down the hallway. She paused at the end, moved her hands to her knees, and breathed slowly out of her nose. 

Her eyes throbbed, threatening tears as she moved unsteadily towards the bench in the main hold. Now was not the time to lose herself; she still had 19 more hours of hyperspace before their ship would reach Yavin. 19 more hours without a clear objective or task at hand. Only time to ruminate.

Leia had never been claustrophobic, but the idea of being stuck on this ship with these strangers made her balk. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep--every time she closed her eyes Alderaan disappeared. Every time she tried to still herself she began to fill the pinpricks in her neck from the interrogation droid. She knew she needed to relax if she wanted to remain useful; but her breathing exercises weren’t working. 

She felt an extra pang of loss as she thought of the traveler not with them. Obi-Wan Kenobi. He had been a Jedi. A warrior. He would have been able to help her, to tell her how to calm her mind. To make her focus on the present and forget the horror of the past few days. 

She raked her hands over her face in frustration as she heard an inquisitive growl. 

Leia started. 

The wookie, Chewbacca, made an inquisitive noise at her. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Shyriiwook,” Leia responded. This wasn’t completely true, Leia was learning, but she was pretty sure Chewbacca had asked her if she was okay. This was not a question she was going to answer. 

Chewbacca grumbled a response, giving her a longer look than she would have liked, and then lumbered up to the cockpit. 

Leia exhaled again as she rested her elbows on the dejarik table, slowly bringing her head into her hands. She felt raw. And again terrified at the thought of having to maintain her composure for the rest of the journey. The boy, Luke, had already proven himself to be sensitive and naive. His wide eyed optimism and wonderment irritated her. As did his open grieving of Obi-wan, asking her to comfort him after she had been working so hard to maintain control and focus. 

Chewbacca would no doubt be a friendly voice, if she were to let him, but her Shyriiwook was poor, and Wookies tended to be very physically affectionate, something that Leia had never been. 

And the pilot. Karabast, that pilot. He was infuriating. Smug, and opportunistic--traits in a living being that she strongly disliked on a good day. This flight would be suffocating if she couldn’t avoid the trio. 

She groaned as she began to feel another wave of physical and mental pain sweeping over her. 

A voice interrupted her. 

“Uh, Princess?” the pilot, Han, inquired looking sheepish. 

“Leia,” she gritted out between clenched teeth as her head swung up. 

“Right, Leia,” he amended. “Chewie mentioned you looked like you were in pain. We have some medical supplies, if you need anything.” 

Leia shot him a cold look. It was an unfortunate habit she had picked up. It kept people from prying and kept her in a position of authority. 

The pilot, Han, frowned slightly but was otherwise undeterred. “Look, Leia, I uh...I was in the Imperial Navy.” He paused, looking slightly uneasy. Leia sighed. As if she would condemn him for that. Half of the Rebellion was filled with ex-Imperials. 

He cleared his throat and continued, his voice slightly softer. “I know what they do to people. What they have done to people. I know...I know they did more to you than make you watch your planet be destroyed.” 

Leia sucked in her breath sharply and turned her eyes away from him as she felt them water. She didn’t want to talk about this. She wanted to pass out and wake up when they arrived on Yavin. 

Han moved to a nearby shelf and shuffled some items around until he found what he was looking for. A medkit. He picked it up and walked slowly to the bench Leia was sitting on and sat next to her slowly. 

Leia watched him cautiously out of the corner of her eye. She opened her mouth to object. She would be fine, she could wait.

He spoke before she could get a word in. “I don’t want to hear that you’re fine. I know you’re not. You’re clearly very capable, but you’re obviously not okay. Now turn your head, I’m going to check your neck.”

She turned her face and met his eyes, considering. He obviously knew what they had done to her without her having to tell him and that in itself was...a relief. Having to explain herself to people was perpetually exhausting. She kept staring in his eyes, considering the warmth and concern she saw there. Surprisingly, she didn’t sense any pity, just worry. And wouldn’t it be nice for just a few minutes, to just let go and let someone else take charge….

Without fully understanding what she was feeling or why she was feeling it, she nodded her head at Han and turned away from him, giving him access to the base of her neck where they had dug the needle in. 

He moved his hands to her neck as he explored the area, mapping out what he would need. His fingertips were warm and smooth and Leia had to fight to not relax into them. Han kept one hand on her neck while he reached into the medkit and extracted an antiseptic. 

“This will burn,” he murmured. 

Leia nodded. Every part of her was already burning. What difference would this make?

He cleared his throat and moved one hand to her shoulder as he used the other to wipe the prickpoint with the antiseptic. She hissed and flinched at this but he had been ready for this, his hand tightening on her shoulder to keep her in place. 

Tears sprung to Leia’s eyes. All adrenaline had left her and as the pain in every part of her began to settle, she found she couldn’t hold it back. The tears pooling in her eyes began to make their way down her cheek. She stayed quiet, hoping by some miracle Han wouldn’t notice. Or that he would at least ignore her. 

He glanced at her face but seemed to understand that any comment on her state would most likely result in her bolting from him. He picked a towel up off the table and blotted the tears from her face without comment before placing the towel in her hand and returning to the medkit. This time he pulled a bacta patch from its depths and adhered it to the back of Leia’s neck. The effect was immediate. She hadn’t realized until this moment how much physical pain she had actually been in and as relief flooded in her body began to sag. She groaned and stretched her neck back into his hand and leaned her head on the back of the booth pinning his arm behind her. 

Han chuckled and gave her a small smile. 

“See? Sometimes it pays to do as _I_ tell you,” he quipped. 

Leia opened one eye and let out a huff of amusement before closing again and relaxing into his arm. More tears settled in her eyes as her body continued to relax and adjust. She gripped the towel in her hand and dabbed her eyes. At this, Han closed his hand around her shoulder giving it a comforting squeeze. Leia should have brushed him off, thanked him for helping her, and been done with this moment, but his hand was warm and large and the heat from his body was starting to thaw any residual resentment she felt towards him for his brazen actions aboard the Death Star. 

She slowly opened her eyes and found he was looking at her, his arm still cushioning the weight of her head. She almost laughed. He looked...hesitant. As if he didn’t know what to do with her. She doubted that was a feeling he had very often around women. She was right. 

“I just...need a minute like this. Is that okay?” She didn’t actually think he would rebuke her, but still, it was polite to ask. 

“Course,” his voice rumbled from deep within his chest.

And once, just this once, she allowed what she needed physically to outweigh the pull of responsibility and who she was supposed to be. She let the rest of her body relax fully into his side, his arm still behind her head holding her up. He gripped her shoulder steadily again and moved closer to her. This shift in his body rolled her head into the crook between his shoulder and neck. She stayed here and breathed him in while the arm that had been behind her head snaked down and encircled her waist, drawing her even closer. His opposite hand moved to gently touch her hip. She was now completely enclosed in his grip. She allowed herself a pronounced sigh, breathing air all the way in and then out, melting even further into him and then wrapping her arms around his waist so that they now sat completely embracing each other. 

Leia continued to take deep breaths. She found that every time she breathed out, his grip on her tightened just a little. She found this pattern comforting and her body began to droop against him, the adrenaline and trauma of the day finally, completely draining from her. She began to drift off to sleep, content in knowing that it would be hours before she had to return to the balanced and poised figure she had learned to be. Leia felt a slight pressure on the crown of her head. She briefly wondered what that sensation had been and she slowly drifted into unconsci….

“Han,” a squawking and bracing voice suddenly yanked her back awake. She flinched but Han’s arms remained wrapped around her, tightening even, and his hands moved to splay protectively over her back. Leia buried her face further into his neck. She wasn’t ready to look anyone in the eye yet. 

“What, kid?” Han questioned tersely. 

“I, uh…” Luke seem to have forgotten whatever he had come in here to say. 

She felt the vibrations in Han’s chest as he spoke again. “There’s some holovids you might like if this is something that interests you,” he responded, teasing Luke. 

Leia inwardly rolled her eyes but realized with someone of a shock that his sly and suggestive comments might be serving as an armor, just as her biting and hostile remarks often did. Nevertheless, she dug her finger into the tender part of his stomach in retaliation. He grunted.

She imagined that Luke must have blushed at that because when he spoke his voice was several notches higher. “No, um, Chewie, I think he needs you.”

“Tell him I’ll be there in a minute,” Han responded with annoyance underpinning his words. 

“Sure,” Luke stuttered out and Leia heard his footsteps as he retreated back to the cockpit.

She finally titled her face up out of the pocket of his shoulder, looking up at his chin. Han tilted his face down at her. She had expected a smug look on his face but was surprised to see his features still showed only the concern and warmth he had demonstrated earlier. 

“How’re you feeling?” he inquired .

Leia cleared her throat. “Better. Calmer,” she told him quietly. 

“I’ve got to go see what Chewie needs.” 

She released her arms from around his waist at this and nodded wearily. Han gave her one last squeeze and then released her as well. She sat up, and rubbed her eyes. She did feel better, but she still felt...exhausted. For more than the first time in the short span that she had known him, Han looked at her like he could see right through her. 

“C’mon,” he said.

She frowned. “To where?”

“I’m going to show you where my bunk is. You need sleep.”

She opened her mouth to object out of habit and he put a finger up to stop her. “You’ll be no good to anyone who needs you if you’re dead on your feet when we reach Yavin.” 

Her eyes widened in surprise. Damn. He was good at biting right through to what she needed to hear. One end of his mouth tilted upward. He knew he had her with that one. 

“Fine,” she huffed out. 

“I love it when I can talk a woman into my bed with just one sentence.” He looked at her wolfishly. 

She rolled her eyes again and punctuated it with a heavy sigh. She knew now the comments had no bite behind them. He was certainly something else. She stood and followed him out of the lounge area to a surprisingly spacious cabin. 

“Lay down,” he instructed. “I’ll grab you some extra blankets.”

Leia listened to him. Realizing with every passing second just how tired she really was. She sat down on the edge of the bed and shed her boots. Han was rummaging around in the closet. He emerged with a shabby green quilt in one had and a heavy midnight blue cape in the other. 

She raised her eyebrows at him. “I didn’t take you as a cape type of man.” 

“I’m every type of man,” he retorted. 

Leia laughed slightly at this. 

“Lay down.”

She raised her eyebrows at him again. Not many people had gotten away with telling her what to do for so long. 

He raised his brows right back at her. “We established you need sleep, right?”

She nodded. Suddenly feeling small and overwhelmed again. Sleep deprivation caused mood swings, right? She scooted herself down on his bed and laid down on her side, her head on his pillow. She closed her eyes as his scent wafted to her nose. She exhaled again, tears again threatening her eyes as her body started to relax again. She felt the mattress dip as Han sat on the edge next to her. She opened her eyes and met his. Leia was again overwhelmed with how much kindness he exuded. He shook the blanket out and covered her with it, and then the cape, making sure she was completely tucked in under both layers. He then moved his thumb to her face and wiped away the tears that had started to fall down her face. 

“You’ll be okay,” he murmured. “Just get some sleep. I’ll be in the cockpit with Chewie if you need me.” 

She met his eyes again, slightly in awe of how gentle he was being. “Thank you,” she whispered. 

She watched as he bent his torso down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. He pulled the covers up over her shoulders and walked out of the room with a final look back at her. Leia breathed in calmly and drifted off to sleep.


End file.
